Bono Argues With Joe Rogan Over Claim That DOGE Has Caused 300k Deaths

White-hot takes on current events from regular people like you!

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“In these sophisticated policy debates I never know whether to believe the washed up musician or the musclebound drug addict.”

– Tiphany Ming, A Fan of Aristotle and Play-Doh

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“This reminds me of that eerie movie about the serial killer who stalks pretentious rock stars, The Bono Collector. Although I much prefer the heartwarming comedy about the pretentious rock star whose family forgets he exists, Bono Lone. And before you mock my dad jokes, just remember: Some day U2 might end up with a corny sense of humor.”

Colin Moriarty, Putting Off Procrastination Plans

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“Only ignorant Americans like Colin pronounce his name ‘Bone-Oh’ instead of the French ‘Bahn-Oh.’ A proper joke might reference a movie about a pretentious rock star on an ill-fated crime spree with his outlaw lover, Bono and Clyde. Luckily I’m above such juvenile humor. I wouldn’t even make a joke about a TV show featuring pretentious rock stars in the old west, Bono-anza. I mean, wait…I don’t know what I’m saying this bloody Sunday. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. Never mind. Please don’t print this.”

– Francis Cone, Wants to Call the Whole Thing Off

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“You can always tell artists are cutting edge when they only have one name. I would just like to suggest that Bono really drive his point home by replacing the B with an H and the N with an M.”

– Joan Cartwright, Hundred Acre Wood Hunting Guide

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