Don't Let Gallows Humor Magazine Go 'Official'

A special message from AOC.

You guys: remember on January 6, when it felt like the Holocaust was happening to Pearl Harbor on 9/11?

Well this is WAY worse.

The people behind Gallows Humor Magazine are whiter than my boyfriend, and they’re going to make a book version of their stupid Substack magazine, to be published in August—the same time when global warming happens every year—and people might buy it.

Their Substack is so horrible that I’m afraid to go HOME, because then I sit in front of my computer and I can’t stop reading it. That’s right. They’ve given me homophobia.

They even offer a paid subscription option, so if you don’t want to buy their stupid book version, you can get ALL their content, past, present and future, in the handiest possible digital format.

And if you don’t like that you can support them through another website called Gumroad. They’re taking advantage of the internet now being completely online.

They even want to feature more content, because their prejudice isn’t normal-sized, it’s true bigotry. I heard that if you send them an idea for a weekly feature at gallowshumormag@protonmail.com with “Feature Submission” in the subject field, you might get your stuff in front of their 1,000-strong and rapidly growing audience of regular readers.

You guys, don’t do it. Just because I couldn’t resist the urge to submit to white men doesn’t mean you have to.

And they’re specifically asking for fiction submissions for their book version. It’s really sick. Sometimes fiction can be about things that didn’t even happen. And they’re letting people write up to four thousand words. That’s like, an encyclopsedia. And all writers have to do is send their not-even-true story to the email address above, with “Fiction Submission” in the subject field.

There are even other ways to encourage them. Their editor-in-chief has two novels that are like a mean joke played on people like us. There is a cat in one of them, but he’s not wearing a hat. There aren’t even any pictures, and nothing rhymes. Definitely don’t buy those.

Well, thanks, guys, for reading. I hope we can put a stop to this together. People who aren’t in congress or whatever think they understand how our system works, but they don’t. You can’t just publish anything you want because the First Amendment lets you carry guns.