An Inconvenient Hypothesis

What if Trump is just a performer in the mockumentary?

We all know national politics is little more than a show, and if there was any doubt that it’s been a show for decades, that ended a week or two ago, when Dick fucking Cheney endorsed KAHmahla (not KaMAHla, bigots). I’m old enough to remember when Dastardly Dick, Dipshit Dubya, and all the neocunts were the fascist axis of evil, and Big Al and the Climate Crusaders were the progressive resistance. The divide we were supposed to believe existed had the Bush regime representing God, guns and guts, and Clinton, Gore, and the rest of the DC pinkos representing all the shitlib counter-clichés.

In hindsight, 20-odd years hence, we all know this was the proverbial “controlled left-right paradigm.” And not to brag, but I was hip to it from the start. Back at the turn of the century, explaining why I chose not to participate in the political process, I liked to use the line, “If God had meant us to vote, he would have given us candidates.” A few years later, when Ron Paul came along, having a candidate, I participated in the process with a vengeance. And, see, now that our Dicks and our Bushes are pissing on Trump, just like they pissed on Paul, it turns out I was right...the same way I’m right about pretty much everything.

The problem today is, what I fear I’m right about is that this Trump thing is just part of the show. Wouldn’t it be a cute trick to have the nefarious neocon crew, now fallen entirely into disrepute, caterwaul about Trump like a rabbit begging not to be thrown into a brier patch? What better signal that the orange man is an outsider? Hey, look, all the establishment scum, even those on the right, hate him; he must be the real deal.

But what sticks in my craw is, in a numeral, 2020. In short, when the moment of truth came, when Trumpism was put through a trial by fire, it ended up a molten puddle. The country burned, the founding fathers toppled, the Covid cunt-fest was not just permitted but warp speeded, the election was effortlessly stolen, January 6 was staged—with the sacrificial lambs summoned by Trump, don’t forget—and the most we got from the god emperor, through all of it, was a few theatrical tweets and bombastic sound bites.

I can’t help but think that if we had had a real candidate, so to speak, in office—for example, a Ron Paul—the answer to all this would have been sorry, chumps; keeping the peace, obeying the Constitution, not playing games, fuck off.

Trump, however, regardless of how anyone wants to spin it, played along. And not only did he play along with the 2020 bolshevik revolution, he played along with everything. He failed to use his power, failed to surround himself with hardliners—actually surrounded himself with the shitbags he was elected to oppose. We got no great wall, no nothing.

I mean, okay, we got lower gas prices, some tax breaks, no new wars. That’s not nothing...but then again, long-term, it is nothing. It didn’t save us from the commies, the faggots, the migrants...it didn’t begin to MAGA...it was just a respite from the system actively kicking us; the minimum, it could be said, that was necessary to make Trump’s noble intentions plausible.

Did they really go back to the future? Back to the Future Part II managed to depict what Trump became, at least to the American left, decades before the becoming took place.

I’m not saying such is definitely the case, but what I fear is that this Trump thing is a bigger setup than Rabbi Shmuley giving you a good deal on a pager. What I fear is that, with Biblical wars looming abroad, and the country decomposing internally, we are in for rocky times. And it’s a distinct possibility that this Trump fellow is, after all, just an actor, and his job, should he become 47, is to 2020 us right along, into ever deeper catastrophe—always talking a good game, of course, because the guy certainly is a pro in that department—but solving zero problems...aiding and abetting the problems, in fact, just as he did in 2020.

Just think: these assassination attempts, these lawfare campaigns, all of the system’s theoretical attacks on Trump...one thing you notice is, they fail, one after another. Trump keeps on Trumpin’ as if nothing ever happened. But what they don’t fail at is keeping the right-wing base engaged. What they don’t fail at is creating, from thin air, a folk hero. The problem is, this folk hero didn’t have to do any folk hero things. He didn’t build any impregnable walls, didn’t keep any cities from burning, didn’t keep the founding fathers intact, didn’t prevent any scamdemics gutting American small business, didn’t prevent stolen elections or January 6s. All he did, and all he has done to this day, is talk.

I could be wrong, but it seems like a cinch that if the system wanted the orange man gone, he’d find himself discussing headache cures with JFK faster than you can say Abraham Zapruder. We aren’t dealing with amateurs here. The entire fucking Western world is being collapsed—systematically. That’s hundreds of millions of people, international economies, numerous armies, laws at all levels, media at all levels, being relentlessly manipulated. Do you really think the people managing all this couldn’t, if they truly wanted to, neutralized this one asshole?

Again, I’m not saying this is definitely the case, but look: we’re dealing with people who plot shit out over decades. You can, just like I can, see seeds planted, angles worked, plans unfold. For example, you get your fag normalization starting in the late 1960s, then 50 years of hardcore pro-fag propaganda in the media, actual fag marriage by Barry and Mike’s reign of terror, and finally, 60 years later, you wake up with 31 flavors of fag, mad scientists casually amputating tits and dicks, and little boys parading around in lingerie.

So who’s to say this Trump thing isn’t a planned op from way back? His ever-presentness is itself suspicious. Far from a mere businessman, the Donald has been a comic book character, a full-time public figure, maintained in the mass consciousness for decades. His reality TV career, his background in pro wrestling, for fuck’s sake...the hyping of his real estate melodramas and silly books. When we consider how consistently this man has been placed before us—despite being neither actor, nor athlete, nor musician, nor comedian, nor commentator—you gotta admit, it’s a bit odd.

We have no idea who runs Hollywood, but they certainly want us to loathe cocky white dudes, especially those with heads of conspicuously yellow hair.

And here’s an angle: What’s with Trump’s fucking hair? What sane person chooses that? Well, how about if it’s a key aspect of the show? A prop? Remember Biff from Back to the Future Part II? That flick came out in 1989, when Trump was a relatively young man. So why did it so accurately anticipate the villainous, grotesque, lemon-headed figure Trump was to become—at least to the left—three decades later? And hey, in point of fact, the blond bully archetype is a Hollywood fixture. So how about if Trump was instructed to be “that guy”? To put on his wig and his asshole act, and fulfill a few decades of “predictive programming”?

You wouldn’t bat an eye if I said that Obama was essentially an actor groomed for his role, a figure engineered to post-hypnotically suggest a subconsciously established magical Negro archetype—MLK, most obviously, but also a long list of Hollywood characters. So why couldn’t a version of the same be true for Trump? In this mockumentary called American Politics, in which the various weirdos and buffoons are always emoting before cameras but the overall drift into oblivion never slows, is it really that far fetched that both men—and pretty much everyone else lurking in the district known as “Hollywood for ugly people”—could simply be actors?

Now, of course, the reason we believe in Trump is his very convincing, hostile takeover of American Politics in the lead-up to the 2016 election. It seems unlikely that his hilariously blunt rhetoric and vicious mauling of Jeb, Hillary, and the various cable news putzes could have been staged. But, then, consider the movie genre I just referenced. If you’ve seen This is Spinal Tap, Waiting For Guffman, or any other mockumentary, you may know that what this movie form relies on, most essentially, is actors’ improv abilities. The actors, in a sense, become the jackasses they’re pretending to be, and many of the most memorable scenes are not scripted, but simply the performers riffing, in character.

Well, I don’t think anyone can seriously argue that Trump isn’t extraordinarily gifted when it comes to extemporaneous BSing. Hell, he just may be the most talented improv artist to come along in generations. So, assuming the rest of the assholes are themselves merely actors, who’s to say the whole thing wasn’t a performance? Who’s to say Trump wasn’t instructed to lay waste to the existing paradigm, which the Republican base no longer believed in anyway? It’s even possible that, to achieve the desired effect, Jeb, Hillary, et al were not informed of, or were misinformed regarding, Trump’s role. I.e., they were “punked,” so their deer-in-headlights responses, as this real-life Biff Tannen broke all the rules, were genuine. It’s not like the directors of our mockumentary don’t know what makes good TV.  

It’s even possible, for that matter, that Sleepy Joe was made literally sleepy for the infamous debate back in June...drugged, by the mockumentary directors, to achieve the desired effect. Absurd, you say? Insane? Yeah, exactly as absurd and insane as the debate even taking place as it did…exactly as absurd and insane as our entire political hellscape...as the entire fucking hellscape that is the modern Western world.

We have no idea who runs Hollywood, but they certainly want us to see blacks as supernaturally wise and noble.

But let me emphasize again: I’m not offering this as anything more than a hypothesis. What I am saying, though, is that we are looking at a strict either/or. Either Trump produces real results, or he doesn’t. So far, he has not. So far, it could be argued, he has made matters incalculably worse for his base, by activating—and in a sense, justifying the actions of—the shittiest shitlibs…by being the character, if only in appearance and behavior, that they have been programmed to rage against.

The TDS pandemic isn’t some fluke. It’s a direct and eminently predictable effect of commie politicos and “journalists” capitalizing on the gift Trump has given them. In this figure they have a made-to-order Hollywood bully, which they can spin up into every grand dragon and führer and blond prick that ever graced any big or small screen to give hate-thrills to the masses of shitlib midwits. All other factors notwithstanding, speaking just in terms of outcomes, for the Satanists in charge, Trump is an indispensable tool for dividing the population against itself.

The question is: Is that all he is? And the good news is, that question is easy to answer. To MAGA, in terms of policy, is not a complicated proposition. All any leader has to do is institute policies that serve actual Americans, and that treat foreigners, whether cat eaters or pager riggers, as foreigners. Our might and credibility are fading fast, but we are still the most powerful country on Earth, and as the commies abundantly demonstrate, if someone is willing to use power, a hell of a lot can be done from the Oval Office.

So, maybe Trump recaptures the presidency and we get the promised renaissance. In which case, I apologize for even thinking this. Or, maybe Trump recaptures the presidency, and we get something that makes 2020 look like 1776, with Trump being just as gay as he was the first time around. In which case, we can discuss this in the camps. Or, maybe we’re being set up for a rug-pull...maybe the Whore of Babylon ascends and Trump goes back to the golf course, having served his purpose as the left’s Biff-Hitler bogeyman. In which case, see the previous in which case.

All I’m saying is, proceed with caution, folks. We didn’t end up in this situation because our enemies aren’t devious and audacious far beyond what we sane and decent people can even conceive of. Controlled opposition is a thing, and it can—by its nature, it must—appear to be the opposite of opposition.