29 Comments
Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

Too funny. How have so many morbidly obese young women been convinced that men find back fat, constant sweating and difficulty in breathing when sitting down attractive? We don’t.

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author

Embrace “size acceptance.”

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

My arms aren’t long enough

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

No

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

I’m trying honestly. However when the only way that you can leave your house involves either a crane or a forklift or both then I struggle.

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

I think you’ve nailed part of the problem. Homeless people go to Omar the tent maker to get temporary shelter, not a new wardrobe.

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

Ice cream van flattened in devastating mob landwhale attack.

Whalenado.

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

It would be so much better if this newsletter was just funny fanciful stuff; instead it’s all true commentary on the momentous collapse of the “civilized” world.

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author

The truth of our times deserves any mockery it receives.

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Well, you’ve got an infinite source of first rate material.

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Jun 26Liked by Matthew Louis, Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

I’ve died laughing.

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Laugh out loud material as usual. Takes me back to my MAD magazine days.

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Jun 26Liked by Matthew Louis, Philip “Big Philly” Smith

You're too kind to ... what was that singer's name again?

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

Eye bleach!

A warning next time? Please?

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

I sware to God these are the highlight of my week. Just staring at my phone giggling like a 12 year old girl

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Jun 26·edited Jun 27Liked by Gallows Humor Magazine

Thanks wholeheartedly for your humor, Tony!

The quote “The biggest news this week is, of course, the debate between Donald Trump, 78, and Joe Biden, dead, which will take place in Atlanta tomorrow” shall remain a classic forever. It shall be remembered longer than dead Joe lives.

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

Seeing the Plum Island Sugar Fairy washed up on the shore has me choosing lobotomy methods: Taylor Swift autotune crapola or a long shank flat tip screwdriver? 🪛 Don't fail me now...

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Jun 26Liked by Gallows Humor Magazine

Your take on Kentucky fried was spot on. When I read: Early signs of infection are head-bobbing while locomoting, advancing to violent arm-flapping and squawking in the final stages.

I realized immediately that you had done your research leaving no stone unturned until you found this. Remarkable!

https://youtu.be/9Gc4QTqslN4?si=Q3j7fuw_K-oPO5Dl

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

Great Massacre!

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author

Our crack team of reporters worked every lead to bring this to our readers.

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

If any of them attended “Fat Asses on the Beach Day”, I’m sure they saw enough horrific crack to last a lifetime.

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Jun 26Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

So, stop Bogarting and pass the pipe, thank you very much

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

F***ing "Pajeet Vivekswamey"? Damn, you guys are savage!

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

Something funny just resurfaced in my mind - does anyone else remember when some young girl trolled Taylor Swift’s fanbase by deliberately misattributing a bunch of inspirational and powerful quotes to Taylor Swift… and the progressive type morons actually believed they were her own words and gushing about how intelligent she was, and how she’s an inspiration to other women… and how beautiful… blah blah…

Well, until some finally decided to show them a bit of mercy and save them from further embarrassment by telling them the quotes were actually pulled from the speeches and written works of Hitler…

But come on, if you can read something like this…

“Once the spirit of egotism begins to prevail among a people, then the bonds of the social order break, and Man - by pursuing his own individual happiness - veritably tumbles out of Heaven; and falls into Hell.”

~Taylor Swift

…and utterly fail to see that her character and person who wrote these words are obviously two radically different people in almost every way imaginable, the trolling was well earned and deserved.

I remember when that ‘Taydolf Swiftler’ thing was all over the internet, they were an absolute laughing-stock lmao!

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith, Gallows Humor Magazine

Plus-Sized!?

Now I’m not sayin she’s fat, but I walked past her and the time it took relative to me was less than a minute, and a decade for everyone else…

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Jun 27Liked by Philip “Big Philly” Smith

The masculine built, Mr Swift. Taint no female to my eye..

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